This is an example of the email I recieved from a giirl-friend of mine today:
The Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX
(because they are plugged into a genius)
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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
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3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
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4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
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(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
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5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women 's legs at cocktails parties)
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6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
( you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
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7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
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( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
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And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma '
And they say blonde s are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!
Ten Things You Didn't Know About the Apollo 11 Moon Landing
By Craig Nelson Posted 07.13.2009 at 12:09 pm
Camera Shy: Neil Armstrong's reflection in Buzz Aldrin's visor is one of the few photos of Armstrong on the moon NASA
This month marks the 40th anniversary of humankind's first steps on the moon. Auspiciously timed is Craig Nelson's new book, Rocket Men--one of the most detailed accounts of the period leading up to the first manned moon mission. Here, we have ten little-known Apollo 11 facts unearthed by Nelson during his research.
1. The Apollo’s Saturn rockets were packed with enough fuel to throw 100-pound shrapnel three miles, and NASA couldn’t rule out the possibility that they might explode on takeoff. NASA seated its VIP spectators three and a half miles from the launchpad.
2. The Apollo computers had less processing power than a cellphone.
3. Drinking water was a fuel-cell by-product, but Apollo 11’s hydrogen-gas filters didn’t work, making every drink bubbly. Urinating and defecating in zero gravity, meanwhile, had not been figured out; the latter was so troublesome that at least one astronaut spent his entire mission on an anti-diarrhea drug to avoid it.
4. When Apollo 11’s lunar lander, the Eagle, separated from the orbiter, the cabin wasn’t fully depressurized, resulting in a burst of gas equivalent to popping a champagne cork. It threw the module’s landing four miles off-target.
5. Pilot Neil Armstrong nearly ran out of fuel landing the Eagle, and many at mission control worried he might crash. Apollo engineer Milton Silveira, however, was relieved: His tests had shown that there was a small chance the exhaust could shoot back into the rocket as it landed and ignite the remaining propellant.
6. The "one small step for man" wasn’t actually that small. Armstrong set the ship down so gently that its shock absorbers didn’t compress. He had to hop 3.5 feet from the Eagle’s ladder to the surface.
7. When Buzz Aldrin joined Armstrong on the surface, he had to make sure not to lock the Eagle's door because there was no outer handle.
8. The toughest moonwalk task? Planting the flag. NASA’s studies suggested that the lunar soil was soft, but Armstrong and Aldrin found the surface to be a thin wisp of dust over hard rock. They managed to drive the flagpole a few inches into the ground and film it for broadcast, and then took care not to accidentally knock it over.
9. The flag was made by Sears, but NASA refused to acknowledge this because they didn’t want "another Tang."
10. The inner bladder of the space suits—the airtight liner that keeps the astronaut’s body under Earth-like pressure—and the ship’s computer’s ROM chips were handmade by teams of “little old ladies.”
Craig Nelson uncovered these facts in various NASA archives while researching his new book, Rocket Men (Viking; $28).
Dinosaur mummy yields its secrets
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By Jason Palmer
Science and technology reporter, BBC News
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A metre-long section of the fossil shows the size of the hadrosaur's scales
A remarkably well-preserved fossil of a dinosaur has been analysed by scientists writing in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B.
They describe how the fossil's soft tissues were spared from decay by fine sediments that formed a mineral cast.
Tests have shown that the fossil still holds cell-like structures - but their constituent proteins have decayed.
The team says the cellular structure of the dinosaur's skin was similar to that of dinosaurs' modern-day descendants.
A member of the duck-billed hadrosaur family, the fossil was found in North Dakota in the US and has been nicknamed "Dakota".
Phil Manning of the University of Manchester and his collaborators have been employing a number of techniques to tease out as much information as they can from the fossil.
'Clean science'
They believe that the dinosaur fell into a watery grave, with little oxygen present to speed along the decay process. Meanwhile, very fine sediments reacted with the soft tissues of the animal, forming a kind of cement.
As a result, the 66 million-year-old fossil still retains some of the organic matter of the original dinosaur, mixed in with the minerals.
The team found that although the proteins that made up the hadrosaur's skin had degraded, the amino acid building blocks that once made up the proteins were still present.
"We're looking at the altered products of proteins from the skin of this animal, locked within the three dimensional mineralised skin," Dr Manning told BBC News.
"You're looking at cell-like structures; you slice through this and you're looking at the cell structure of dinosaur skin. That is absolutely gobsmacking."
A study of the cell structures show that, like modern-day crocodiles and birds, the skin was made up of two layers: a surface epidermis against a deeper dermis layer made up of dense connective tissue.
Although that finding is what might have been expected based on the presumed lineage of the modern animals, Dr Manning said it is "clean science".
"If you've got a hypothesis and you can't test it, it remains a hypothesis. Now we've had an exceptionally preserved dinosaur which has allowed us to ask that question and answer it for the first time," he said.
Microprobe studies showed tendon structure, preserved with silicon
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Studies of the skin from across the fossil show that the skin was thinner toward the flanks, between the tail and the hips, where other hadrosaur fossils have shown bite marks. Dr Manning said that region may have been the dinosaur's "Achilles heel".
"If you understand the distribution of these structures in the skin of a prey animal, you can understand something about predator-prey interactions, and it might explain some of the hadrosaur fossils we see with these bite marks," he said.
Derek Briggs, a palaeontologist at Yale University and an expert in exceptionally preserved fossils, praised the work, saying that the important step was elucidating the mechanism by which such fossils could be preserved.
"One can't be certain, but I suspect that in many cases these kinds of skin impressions have gone unnoticed and people have gone after the skeleton, which is of course what you'd expect to be preserved," he told BBC News.
"This kind of discovery just demonstrates very clearly that soft tissue does survive, that the processes involved are unusual but not absolutely extraordinary - so there's no reason why this kind of material won't be discovered again."
Dr Manning said that studies on Dakota were continuing apace on a fossil he described as a pleasure to work with.
"Whereas most of us have to deal with disjointed sentences and occasional fractured words to reconstruct the volumes of the fossil record, you've got a whole chapter lying there and you can flick through the pages at your leisure," he said.